


push it real good

by Dresupi



Series: Fool Me Once; Fool Me Twice (April Fool's Crack Smut) [5]
Category: Ant-Man (Movies), Deadpool (Movieverse), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Ant Man Suit Kink, Blue Rock Candy Crack, Consensual But Not Safe Or Sane, Crack, Darcyland April Fool's Smut Challenge, F/M, I don't even know how to tag this, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Ridiculous Crack, Scott shrinks and goes places, Smut, Suit Kink, Uniform Kink, Wade Wilson Breaking the Fourth Wall, read the summary, so much crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-15 03:13:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10549110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dresupi/pseuds/Dresupi
Summary: Darcy has a very specific request from Scott.  We'll just call it...Ant Man Suit Kink.  He's only too happy to oblige her, and Wade's only too happy to assist.Written for the Darcyland April Fool's Smut Challenge, Day 5: Sex in Cramped Places





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [leftennant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/leftennant/gifts).



> This is without a doubt, the crackiest thing I've ever written. I'm flying fast and loose with the prompt. Or is it fast and tight, in this case? 
> 
> I blame leftennant. Completely. 
> 
> ['Push it' by Salt n' Pepa](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCadcBR95oU). 
> 
> Read about the Smut Challenge [here](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/157863665183/hey-guys-have-you-ever-wanted-a-reason-to)
> 
> Unbetaed. Because I couldn't decide who I wanted to inflict this on. So I just inflicted it on myself. ;) 
> 
>  
> 
> **WARNING: Crack of the crackiest sort. Scott is straight up going to shrink and go inside Darcy's vajayjay to push on her G-spot. There is no way to tag for this, so I hope this is blaring and obvious enough.**

 

“Okay, so you’re  _ sure  _ this is what you want, Darce?”  Scott gulped as he pulled on his suit.  “It might feel weird…”  

“Just don’t...summon any ants while you’re in there and we’re golden…” Darcy replied with a smirk.  “I trust you.”  

“She trusts you with her love button, Scott.” Wade winked.  He leaned down to press his lips against Darcy’s. His hand cupped her breast, flicking the nipple stiff and making her toes curl into the mattress.  

“Might need...some... _ relief _ when I finish up?”  Scott said slowly, eying the two of them.  His eyes went dark when he glanced down between her legs.  To be honest, Darcy didn’t need Wade to work her up, she was plenty worked up when she thought about what Scott was going to do to her.  From the inside.  

And he was so good at hitting it in general.  He was a G-Spot-Pro, that Scott Lang. 

Wade pinched her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, twisting lightly and making her arch up off the bed.  

Okay.  So Scott wasn’t the only one with talented fingers in this bedroom. She definitely wasn’t complaining. 

Scott was looking downright uncomfortable in that suit of his.  Like he wanted to rip out of it and jump up on the bed with them.  Apparently, it was tighter than usual since he’d sprayed the whole thing down with an anti-microbal polymer.  He  _ was _ climbing  _ inside _ her.  He’d wanted it to be safe and clean…

Basically, he sprayed his whole suit down with a liquid condom. Because he loved her and wanted to do this for her.  

Darcy was  _ very  _ appreciative.          

“Dude, you’re doing this weird thing I asked for...like this totally  _ weird thing _ that I never in a million years thought I’d ever work up the courage to ask for, so…you pretty much get what you want when you finish up.”  She assured him as best as she could with Wade sucking on her neck and teasing her breasts. 

Wade pressed her legs farther apart.  “Keep these spread, wouldn’t want to suffocate the little guy while he’s in there…”  

“That’s really not the kind of sexy talk I was hoping for…” Scott mumbled under his breath as he retrieved his helmet from the bed..  “I really  _ really _ hope Hank never used the suit for this…”  

Darcy’s head snapped up.  

“It’s been cleaned.  Many times.  Chill, Darce. I’d never do  _ anything _ in it if it wasn’t…”  

“Relax, honey bunny…”  Wade kissed along her jaw and Scott’s gloved hand stroked the inside of her thigh.  “We’re gonna take good care of you…”  The contrast of Wade’s nearly nude body and Scott’s absolutely covered one was heady.  Obvious. Very fucking noticeable.

Wade’s hand trailed down between her legs.  He teased around her clit and looked up at Scott while he did it.  “Should I use my mouth or no?”  

Scott looked pained by the words he was speaking.  “ _ Maybe _ not while I’m  _ in _ there? I just...need to see how much she’s gonna squeeze me?”  

Wade’s fingers drifted down further, pressing up into her.  He pumped them slowly in and out, watching her writhe on the mattress.  “She’s gonna be squeezing you…definitely gonna be cramped in there…just like the prompt necessitates.”  

Scott frowned.  “What?”  

“Nothing.  Just breaking the fourth wall.  You know I do that. It’s  _ kind _ of my thing.  You shrink.  I break the fourth wall. Also, I kick ass.”

“I kick ass too,” Scott argued.  

Wade shrugged.  “I’m pretty sure Spidey took you down.  So. The amount of ass you kick is significantly less than mine.  But don’t feel bad.  I’m merely an enhanced human like everyone else in this universe.  I put my Hello Kitty backpack on one strap at a time.”     

Darcy cleared her throat. It was best to cut Wade off before he started proving why they called him the Merc with a Mouth.  “Ahem.  Not to be a diva, but I have some things that need attending if a little man is going to jump up my vajayjay?”  

Wade leaned down to flick his tongue over her clit.  She groaned and tensed around his fingers.  She felt the textured pads of Scott’s gloves teasing over her nipples which made her press up into his touch.   

Humming and reaching for him, she ran her fingers through his hair before pressing her lips to his.  “Almost regret sending you in there...this feels nice…”  

“Almost?”  He grinned and kissed her again.  “You remember the safe word, right?”  

“Beetlejuice,” she said with a nod.  “Just.  You know.  Don’t make me say it three times.”  

Scott smirked and put his helmet on, twisting it slightly to make sure it was nice and snug. “Babe, I’d never do that to you.  One crazy dude in this bed is enough.”  

“I’d think twice before lobbing that moniker around, Lang.  I’m not the one shrinking down to fun-size so I can jump up my girlfriend’s vagina.” Wade’s voice was slightly muffled against her.    

Scott shifted his weight, likely rolling his eyes.  “Like you wouldn’t give your left nut to be in my position.”

The resulting grin that spread across Wade’s face was nothing short of sinful.  “When you’re right, you’re right…”   His fingers pumped in and out of her, pulling them out at the last second before he sat up between her legs and pressed them apart further.  “You ready, sweet cheeks?”  Wade adjusted the bluetooth headset over his ears.  Or what was left of them. He beamed when she nodded.  “ _ You  _ ready, other-sweet-cheeks?  (And you know which cheeks I’m referring to, don’t you, Scott?)”

Scott chuckled and gave them both a thumbs up.   And then he was gone.  Or small, as the case might be.  

She tried to relax, taking deep cleansing breaths until she felt something moving... _ there _ … 

* * *

 

Wade had him on the com, letting him know if she liked what he was doing, or if she didn’t. 

It took him a minute, it was a lot darker than he was expecting.  For whatever reason.  He didn’t know why he wasn’t expecting the darkness.  Maybe he thought she actually  _ had  _ twinkly fairy lights down here.  

Scott had to chuckle at at that.  Darcy’s magical lady bits.

Twinkly fairy lights would have helped tremendously.  It was dark.  And wet.  So fucking wet.  

He groaned.  He was pretty sure this was the kinkiest thing he’d ever done.  And he was hard enough to hammer nails.  And this suit was tight as fuck.  Goddamn.  He reached his hand up to feel around, could tell she liked that, because it made her clench.  

Which wasn’t as terrifying as he’d originally thought it would be.  

He spoke over the com briefly.  “You could probably use your mouth, Wade.  Just don’t swallow.”  

Wade’s chuckle rumbled through his earpiece.  “That’s probably the first time you’ve ever said that to me…”  

The thought of THAT certainly wasn’t helping his pants situation.  In the slightest.  “Yeah, well.  Maybe once I’m out.  I just...don’t really have a digestion kink.”  

“Roger that.”     

When he finally got into position and pressed, it became very evident that Darcy’s hypothetical dislike of anything he was doing wasn’t going to be an issue.    

_ “Oh holy fuck…Scott...god...right there…”  _

* * *

 

Wade’s thumb centered over her clit, which he rubbed in slow circles.  “Yeah there.  She likes that, Scott.  She likes that a LOT.”  He bent down between her legs, lowering his mouth to her.  

Darcy grasped the sheets in her hands, thinking that maybe, just MAYBE if they did this again, they might need to consider restraints.  God, that was hot.  The thought of being tied down while Scott was…

“Ffffuccckkk…” she groaned, clenching the sheets even tighter.  

Wade’s tongue was circling her clit at the same steady pace as his thumb had been, and Scott had found some kind of rhythm inside her.  

It felt weird.  Strange.  Amazingly good.  Like concentrated pressure right  _ there _ .  Oh holy fuck was Scott getting the sex-god title after this.  

She closed her eyes and let her head fall back on the pillow.  Her hands went up to grip the headboard as the first wave of her orgasm came crashing down over her. 

“Coming…” she grunted, and she heard Wade repeat the info to Scott, who started slowing down slightly, dragging it out of her before he stopped completely.  

“Are you good?” Wade asked, his hand smoothing up over her quivering belly.  “Scott says he can do it again, if you want?”  

“God...yes…” she gripped the headboard and grunted when he started moving again.  Moving inside her.  Fucking her from the inside out.  All thoughts of needing the safe word disappeared.  This felt good.  So good.  So amazingly, impossibly good.  

The next orgasm wasn’t nearly as strong, but it came so quickly, she couldn’t do anything but moan through it, gripping the sheets and Wade’s head between her thighs.

Darcy fell back on the bed with a moan, her limbs felt loose and relaxed, her head lolled to one side as Wade crawled up the bed to slide in behind her.  She could barely feel Scott crawling out.  Wade was stroking her thighs, pressing his lips to her skin, soothing her shaking body.  “You did good, honey bunny ...fuck me, that was hot…”  

Scott grew again at the edge of the bed, pulling off his helmet and beaming down at her.   “So was that good for you, or…???”  

She might have been tired.  But she wasn’t done yet.. “Take that suit off and get in bed, Scott.”   

He tossed the helmet on the floor. “Yes, ma’am.”  

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/), if that's a thing you do. <3


End file.
